02 May 2011

Sexual Yoda: Get Some You Will

Greetings Whatlings and welcome to the What's official column offering advice on all things love, sex, dating, and more! I, the Sexual Yoda, will use my years of knowledge, experience, and expertise to guide you through the galaxy of love, getting you out of that Solo rut and Skywalking your way toward Lando-ing a decent Leia or C-ing all the 3PO you can handle. Send your questions to sexualyoda@gmail.com and with a little help from I, your favorite mystic muppet, get some you will.

Allow me to begin my first column by explaining a little more in detail of what can be expected. In keeping with the What's mission of providing "colorful ideas for everyday life" for the 24-35 demographic, I will offer my sage wisdom pertaining to the often tumultuous world of post-collegiate dating. At times I will generously give unsolicited advice that well help you, my dear Whatlings, give that much-needed jump start to your sexual spark plugs, the extra little kick to your A-game, the cherry to top your romantic desserts. I will also take questions sent to me at sexualyoda@gmail.com and provide answers here on the What. Please do your best to come up with a creative name/handle for yourself when signing your question (i.e. Lovelorn in LA, Salivating for Salami, Desperate in DC, Fuck-hungry in Philly, etc.). Also be sure to use spell-check as your letter will be posted in my column and I will ridicule your bad grammar. To begin, allow me to post a sample email based on a conversation I had at the local watering hole.

Dear Sexual Yoda,
I am about to move in with my boyfriend. What can I do to make this go smoothly?
- AB who wants some C/D in E F'n G H

First, please allow me to say I worry as to what those letters actually mean. Second, let me tell you this. The most important thing a long-term, serious couple must do upon moving in is have sex on the first night in the new home. This may seem silly to say, but it is true. Your trusty green advice machine has been known to share a dwelling or two, and please allow me to assure you that a night of carnal relations celebrating this major step will set a very positive tone for your new living arrangement. Once that piece of the puzzle is in place, the key is communication that is very open and honest. From there, the occasional surprise/gift/getaway can help keep things lively and help avoid falling into ruts that could send this new arrangement to the dark side. Good luck I wish you!

Until next time,
Sexual Yoda

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